“Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!).”
This is the iconic first line of the notorious Harry Potter fanfic My Immortal. As memorable for many fans as the introduction to Charles Dickens’ The Tale of Two Cities or Gregor Samsa awakening only to find himself turned into a cockroach in Kafka’s Metamorphosis, they immediately bestow upon the reader the knowledge that they are in for a ride.
A thing of legend in fandom culture, My Immortal is often dubbed the worst fanfiction ever written. Some revere it for the sheer genius of its dreadfulness, some consider it an abomination that inspires horror in the face of its existence. Whatever the case, it is still embedded in the collective consciousness especially of the older fans, and its legacy continues to live on. So what is it that made this particular literary piece so ingrained in fandom culture for years to come?
My Immortal is a Harry Potter fanfic written by Tara Gilesbie, published on fanfiction.net in 2006 (through 2007). Almost immediately upon its conception, it garnered immense attention. My Immortal was plagued by bad reviews, but that was only the tip of the iceberg; the fanfic is not so notorious simply for the atrocity that is the writing. In between updates, Gilesbie fought with the “preps” who wrote negative reviews, her account was allegedly hacked into, the hacker published a chapter, Gilesbie continued writing as if nothing had happened without deleting that chapter… My Immortal was indeed a wild ride if you were there at the time of its creation. Ever since, theories have popped up on whether the entire fic was an attempt at trolling (in other words, if it was intentionally bad) or if it was really just that terrible all along. The numerous inconsistencies do make it hard to believe that there is such a thing as coincidence.
My Immortal is a leftover of the 2000’s emo culture that sparked horrendous fanfiction written by young teens. If the story is indeed satire, it pokes fun at those early fanfics. It is an example of how not to write – it sports all the most hated characteristics of fan writing. The main character is a Mary Sue (a badly written original female character), the actual plot of Harry Potter is completely disregarded, there are random Japanese phrases scattered in between, out-of-place author’s notes, and let’s not forget the awful grammar. On that note, some misspellings feel far too deliberate, especially towards the end: Azerbaijan instead of Azkaban, Tom Bombadil instead of Tom Riddle (a quite obscure character in the Lord of the Rings trilogy), which is why the more you read, the more impossible it is to shake the feeling that the fic is self-aware. Anne Jamison, author of the book Fic: Why Fanfiction Is Taking Over the World is “of the opinion that My Immortal is a satire, and a viciously intelligent one, at that” (Riesman 2015).
My Immortal is the story of a strong female protagonist, plagued by love, the woes of the patriarchal system, and life. We follow Ebony’s (or Enoby’s, as her name frequently appears in the later chapters) journey through her 7th year at Hogwarts as she interacts with her peers, awful adults, and villains. She is deeply entrenched in the class war (her identity as a goth is the crutch of her character) between “goffs” and “preps”, and the religious conflict between Christians and Satanists. Ebony explores romance, mainly with everyone’s favourite Slytherin bad boy Draco Malfoy. But that is not all! The affairs and crimes of the Hogwarts students and staff are shadowed by a faulty plot of paradoxical time travel, resurrection, a professor’s addiction to Voldemortserum (presumably a misspelling of Veritaserum) and a gothic Marty McFly. In the end, it is only Ebony who can defeat the dark forces, “Vlodemort” and his “Death Dealers”.
One thing that stands out in My Immortal is the humour, intentional or not. The misspelled words often add a layer of hilarity to the story that will make you question your reading abilities (for example “I was flattened” instead of “I was flattered”, Manga instead of Mungo, the Dork Mark, the Bark Lord). Moreover, I must commend the author on her mastery of comedic timing, as exemplified in Dumbledore regularly stumbling upon his students doing inappropriate things. “It was… Dumbledore,” is a trademark line of the fic. It creates an illusion of suspense, and through repetition grants the story internal structure. However, later chapters play with this. When you expect it will be, again, Dumbledore appearing out of thin air, it is Professors Snape and McGonagall who interrupt the scene. Another comedic element is Voldemort speaking in a poor imitation of Shakespearean English, even though it makes no sense at all. Perhaps the funniest of all is the depiction of sexual content. Fanfiction is known for its ventures into erotica, but My Immortal takes that and plunges straight into ridiculousness. In this vein, the fic fails to handle other mature, admittedly dark themes with anything but immaturity. It unceremoniously discusses self-harm, suicide, and sexual assault. My Immortal on the whole is grotesque(ly captivating).
Furthermore, the fic is characterized by a deterioration of quality alike to disintegration of mind, if not downright death of remaining braincells. The intermezzo in the form of the hacker serves as a momentary brake to deciphering what in the world the words mean, only for the plot to keep becoming increasingly fantastical, riddled with numerous riveting turns (like the band My Chemical Romance revealing themselves to be Death Eaters) and repeating paragraphs. Unfortunately (but fitting for this piece), the nature of fanfiction is such that a story, no matter how beloved, will one day cease to update, perhaps before its time. My Immortal is as of today unfinished, ending on a cliff hanger in chapter 44, further adding to the mystery that is this surreal work of art.
It is the story that gave us unforgettable lines such as “Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” or this particular gem:
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”
It is a mystery that may never be solved. Even after its sudden deletion, copies of the text remain available online to those who weren’t around in that early stage of the Harry Potter fandom. While it has perhaps lost a bit of its notoriety after more than a decade, My Immortal may as well be immortal among the fanfiction of the internet, serving as an infinitely quotable monument to the early 2000s teen culture and bad fanfiction.
SOURCES:
Riesman, Abraham. “The Bizarre, Unsolved Mystery of ‘My Immortal,’ the World’s Worst Fanfiction Story.” Vulture. Vulture, March 12, 2015. https://www.vulture.com/2015/03/bizarre-unsolved-mystery-of-my-immortal.html.